nickmoorexvx: Yesterday a guy came up to me at work was like “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?” I’ll say that again. A guy came up to me at work and asked “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”
just-laff: egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket you are one of the great thinkers of our time
selfdoubtandsyphilis: dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
so-many-feels: deucebowl: If I were a magic wizard I wouldn’t harm people when they pissed me off, I’d just put these really fucked up random curses on them, like every time they saw a school bus they would shit their pants, or every time someone said the word Thursday they would pretend they were a dragon for 20 seconds. i think you would be a very good wizard.
sigoynerblod: OH MY GOD BABY WEASELS THEYRE SO CUTE AND TINY WHAT THE HECK